


Perfect

by kentuckygirl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 06:16:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13475427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kentuckygirl/pseuds/kentuckygirl
Summary: Lexa, denying that she loves girls, dates Finn, who cheats on her. Clarke grows closer to Lexa during this time, who happens to be her Lit TA. Based off the song Perfect by Selena Gomez. This story is super gay, and I'm having a lot of fun writing it.





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a quick authors note to precursor this story.  
> It’s based off the song Perfect by Selena Gomez, which is entirely under rated and super gay. I write what I know, and what I know is my experiences. Like dating a guy, because you feel like you can’t date a girl. Or what it’s like to have internalized homophobia, and how to get past it. And what its like to be OCD. Finn is in this story, but he is not the center, and the most you’ll have to deal with him is in the first chapter. This will have a happy ending, and it will deal with serious everyday issues. Nothing like self harm or other similar triggers. If you have not heard the song, I strongly encourage you to before reading this story. Any questions, I will be glad to answer. Let me know if y’all like it, and please bear with me through the beginning. I’m also a big fan of putting a spin on common tropes.

It takes months before she realizes what’s going on.

The funny thing about hindsight, is that it’s so simple to see the answer after it’s all said and done. Like doing a jigsaw puzzle without looking at what it’s supposed to be first. All the pieces are there, and it makes sense once it’s all put together, and towards the end it’s easy to figure out exactly what it was going to be all along. And yet, it wasn’t until it all fit perfectly, that she finally had it solved.

Lexa gets her first taste of suspicion when his hours shift. It was subtle at first, his routine which she meticulously had memorized is disturbed. Only by 15 minutes, but for someone who struggles with OCD, she felt all of it. The first time she might not have been too thrown off, but when it happens twice more, she knows something is different.

It doesn’t make sense, she can’t wrap her mind around it. She wants to ask, every fiber of her being wants to just ask him. And she would, if she wasn’t afraid of his reaction. He doesn’t understand her personality disorder, doesn’t really understand her either. He asks her why she can’t just stop, he thinks it’s a simple question. He’s what’s simple.

Lexa has learned to repress it, something she’s been good at her whole life. Letting it out as freely as she’d like when he’s not there. That’s when she can breathe (4 deep breaths at a time).

Her mind drifts back to when she saw the second sign. It hits her like a bag of bricks, that she should have questioned it more.

She’s sitting at the little island in their little kitchen, typing away with an even, steady pace. Lexa is one of exactly 8 Lit TA’s at her college, Polis University. She’s the strictest of them all on assignments, but the most willing to assist with her students. It was the perfect gig, like it was made for her. Similar to her tailored jeans, because anything that isn’t perfect makes her itch.

Finn comes home 15 minutes late for the 6th time in 10 days. Always exactly 15 minutes, because he must know anything later than that will cause a deep panic in her that will lead to questions he doesn’t want to answer. She can’t help it, really.

He comes up behind her chair, holding her against him for a brief 2 seconds, before dropping his phone on the counter to rummage freely through the fridge.

“Good day at class?” he asks.

“Sure,” she says, distractedly.

She’s trying not to show that she noticed his timing, having gotten a snippy remarks the two times she dared to mention it. She’s trying so hard to act casual, that her eyes immediately snap to his phone when it lights up. It’s a text from Bellamy, the contents hidden for whatever reason, clearly meaning his text preview has been turned off for the first time since she’s met him.

That’s not why Lexa pauses her typing though. It’s his phone background. It had been a picture of the two of them, smiling in the park from nearly 2 months ago. It’s been his wallpaper since that day. For whatever reason though, it was a photo of him and his childhood dog. It almost looks like a stock photo, to a stranger they might even assume so. Lexa isn’t a stranger.

“Lex?”

His voice brings her back, he’s asking where the ranch is. It’s where it always is, and she also finds it really disturbing that he likes to apply it to his pizza. She ignores him, cutting him off before he can even finish his sentence with a loud click of her laptop as she snaps it shut.

“I’m late meeting Raven, I’ll be back in 2 hours.”

She’s already packed her backpack and out the door before he can tell her what she already knows - she’s never late.

***

She didn’t have plans with Raven that day. She rushed out of their small apartment so quickly she hadn’t even gathered a plan on where to go. Lexa made it 4 steps out of the building before she glanced around frantically for the answer. She found it a block away, her eyes settling on the little locally owned coffee shop up the street. It’s not somewhere she goes often, she spent an obscene amount of money on a Keurig after all, but it was perfect at the moment.

She called Raven as soon as she started walking, a short and clipped conversation that ended with her best friend agreeing to meet her at The Brew in 15 minutes. Of course, when she heard that exact time stamp she walked just that bit quicker. Making it to her destination before she ended the call without a goodbye.

She felt crazy. It was probably nothing, and if there’s one thing Lexa absolutely hates, it’s feeling crazy. She struggles to control her racing thoughts, occupying her time by looking around. She’s only been in there three times, and it gives her an odd sense of relief to have made that number even.

She doesn’t stand around long, only crazy people stand in a doorway to a place for more than a few seconds. She marches up to the line, forcing herself to focus on the menu, knowing full well she was going to get a medium Americano. Exactly like every time she enters a coffee shop.

When it’s her turn she’s surprised to notice a familiar face behind the counter. It’s one of her students, she knows it’s her for sure when she turns to greet her with a smile. The movement allows Lexa to see that pink stripe in her hair that has driven her insane since the moment she saw it.

Clarke recognizes her about 2 seconds after Lexa does, and her smile meets her eyes this time.

“Ms. Woods! I wasn’t expecting you to be here,” the blonde comments.

Lexa’s heart skips. The only thing that drives her more crazy than tardiness, or randomly place stripes of color, is a beautiful girl. She lets herself feel that flutter in her belly for exactly 6 seconds, before forcing herself to snap out of it. She’s not gay. She’s taking too long to answer, it’s getting weird, Clarke’s smile is dimming.

“One medium Americano,” she finally gets out.

“Coming right up.”


End file.
